and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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