hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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