is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
