I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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