i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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