I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think people are normalizing furries
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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