You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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