i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
