Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize