hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
