remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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