I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
