there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Randomize
