Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize