Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
