for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
