i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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