whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
