oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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