and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize