Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
