well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
