hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
