Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize