Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
