Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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