So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
