Whats the glycemic index on semen?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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