remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize