It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
