Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
