end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
