yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
