I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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