he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
did i walk over a car last night?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
