I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
