In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
