she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
