Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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