She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
