She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
