Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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