OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Boobs speak an international language.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
