just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Who died my cat blue again?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
