I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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