Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
it's unicorns you uncultured swine