Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

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  (510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy
  Replies (46) Good night (842) Bad night (5722)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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  (630): Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible? http://tfl.nu/m7m6
  Replies (12) Good night (973) Bad night (3704)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk

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  (631): Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk http://tfl.nu/bu5o
  Replies (18) Good night (1037) Bad night (4664)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Also pregame at mine tomorrow?

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  (917): My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat. (917): Also pregame at mine tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/3lzk
  Replies (3) Good night (3187) Bad night (961)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.

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  (317): On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high. http://tfl.nu/5g1g
  Replies (3) Good night (2398) Bad night (920)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.

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  (817): If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun. http://tfl.nu/31s3
  Replies (8) Good night (1409) Bad night (1538)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Lolll I'll be sleeping

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.

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  (905): I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though (289): Lolll I'll be sleeping (905): I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town. http://tfl.nu/s1jf
  Replies (2) Good night (2111) Bad night (680)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

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  (503): Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here. http://tfl.nu/jknc
  Replies (13) Good night (1252) Bad night (611)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.

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  (781): Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants. http://tfl.nu/zvak
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (362)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here

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  (406): the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here http://tfl.nu/np6z
  Replies (5) Good night (1861) Bad night (390)
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  (607): View more from New York

  There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.

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  (607): There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor. http://tfl.nu/j4bf
  Replies (13) Good night (2553) Bad night (640)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.

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  (901): Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/r0ud
  Replies (11) Good night (1630) Bad night (331)
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  (415): View more from California

  We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home

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  (415): We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home http://tfl.nu/a6an
  Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (235)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's

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  (614): Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's http://tfl.nu/o9z1
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (496)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked

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  (716): Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked http://tfl.nu/c2o7
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (221)

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