frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
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I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit