She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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