I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My penis needs a shock collar
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
