And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?