He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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