Your tits are I can't wait for
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?