adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off