Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.