We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.