How drunk are you??
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
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walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
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Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar