Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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