Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
