I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
