wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
