Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
