Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
