Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
