I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
