I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
