playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
