Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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