Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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