I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
