We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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