Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize