It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
